Let me first premise this post by saying I have written it in stages. Mostly because I wanted to get it all down, while also keeping it close to the vest for awhile.
Sunday, September 18 –
I’m pregnant! Yes, I am pregnant! So many emotions are running through me right now. I’m excited, but trying not to be overly excited yet. I’m nervous. I’m scared we aren’t quite ready for another child, though having another child wasn’t a mistake. I’m happy. Truly and utterly happy.
I started having this sick feeling while watching football on Sunday afternoon. And it wasn’t a sick to my stomach sort of feeling since the Colts lost yet another game, but it was a weird sick feeling. I can’t really describe my pregnancy sickness, but if I had to – it is like having the stomach flu, mixed with a little dizziness, but the most telling is the weird “sickness” feeling I get in my mouth. And when I am pregnant, I am super sick. With Brayden and Lydia the gross “morning sickness” better known to my body as “all day sickness” didn’t subside until around the 22 week mark. Having the “I feel like I am going to vomit and lots of times actually vomitting feeling” isn’t much fun to have for over 5 months straight. But the end product makes it all worth it. I tell friends often I would rather give birth than be pregnant. I used to dream about how fun it would be to be pregnant. I would imagine myself wearing these adorably cute sundresses with my belly protruding, but I never imagined myself with my head in the toilet. That is what we should remind teenagers of when speaking to them about sex ed. Let them see what will actually happen to their daily lives even before the baby arrives.
So anyway, I started feeling sick so decided to take an at home pregnancy test. After I took the test I walked away from it for a couple minutes because I really didn’t expect it to be positive. Well sure enough it was positive. I took another one for good measure and sure enough that one too was positive.
The reason I am not telling so many people and posting this on the blog right away is because I experienced two miscarriages in between having Brayden and Lydia. They were devastating. I was emotionally drained having two miscarriages in a row and so Jay and I waited a year before trying again. And then along came Lydia. Our beautiful, sassy little girl. And not that I didn’t appreciate the blessing Brayden was, but I truly appreciated the gift from God that each child is.
I want four children. Jay has a differing opinion (though it didn’t differ from mine until we had kids and he realized just how much work they are and how much they cost to raise.) Jay would be okay with just having two, but he is compromising with me and agreed on three. And that in turn means I am compromising with my undiagnosed OCD and getting over the even number of children thing. Though I do tease Jay that I hope I get pregnant with twins, because he can’t tell me to put one back.
So now the waiting game starts. My anxious thoughts if the pregnancy will be a success started the minute I found out I was expecting and I’m sure will last well past the first trimester. I am trying to stay positive. Thank you Lord for this awesome blessing!
Monday, September 19 –
I called my doctor this morning and went in early for some bloodwork. I hate bloodwork. I have a very embarrassing story of me passing out at a blood drive where I wasn’t even giving blood. Needles and me just don’t mix. But over the years I have learned to deal with needles. I have learned to not mentally exhaust myself over it. If I just don’t think about the needle being poked into my body (because in all reality it really doesn’t belong there) then I do just fine.
The bloodwork was done to track my hCG and progesterone levels. Both of which are doing great at the moment. I was given an hCG level of 40 and a progesterone level of 22.
Thursday, September 22 –
I went back for some more bloodwork to check my levels again. The hCG level should double about every 48 hours. Mine was at a 130, so it is increasing nicely.
Monday, September 26 –
I went to the doctor again this morning to check my hCG and progesterone levels. My hCG levels went up to an 880. This level has increased significantly. And my progesterone level is at a 19. I asked the nurse if my progesterone level decreasing should be a cause for concern and she said that the numbers will fluctuate a bit.
I am not supposed to go back to the doctor until I have my early ultrasound on October 20th. This four week waiting period feels too long to me, especially after I learned my progesterone level went down a bit. The nurse didn’t seem concerned but after having to take a supplement of progesterone while pregnant with Lydia I see the need to ask about it again. So I will probably call my doctor to discuss this more.
My hCG level went up considerably. Sometimes this is associated with pregnancy with multiples. The joke in our house (since Jay only wants three) is that I will just get pregnant with twins and he can’t tell me to put one back. If I do indeed find out I am pregnant with twins I will first – laugh in Jay’s face and second – cry. Because good Lord how do I take care of two at a time.
So now the waiting game continues and it is making me even more anxious. I think this is God’s way of reminding me that it is all in his hands.
Tuesday, September 27 –
We told the kids that we are going to have another baby. We felt that Brayden (and Lydia though she doesn’t quite get it) should know before we tell some of the family. We have dinner scheduled with some family on Thursday evening so we wanted to let them know before that.
Brayden was surprised and excited. He quickly suggested that we should make a list of boys and girls name and take votes on which is the best. So of course we let him know that Mommy and Daddy will be choosing the name, but that we would love to hear his suggestions.
Lydia at first said, “No, Lydia.” I think she was telling us that she was the baby. I was nervous how this would go, but then she started saying, “baby sister” over and over again. Brayden prefers a baby brother and Lydia prefers a baby sister, so I guess one of them will be happy. Jay and I don’t have a preference for one gender or the other. We are just praying for a healthy baby.
Jay tried explaining to Brayden (in the best way possible for a 6-year-old) that sometimes babies can get sick inside mommy’s tummy and that we are praying that that will not happen. We always feel informing our kids about situations, even before they may or may not happen is a good idea. Our kids seem to need to understand what is happening in order to be okay with something. So in this kind of serious moment of explanation Brayden says, “So, babies can like spit up in your tummy?” Of course daddy’s can’t explain things as well as mommy’s can so I told Brayden that sometimes babies just don’t grow right in the belly and don’t become full babies. This made more sense to him.
Wednesday, September 28 –
My doctor called me about my concerns for my progesterone levels and the fact that I won’t be in for any check ups until October 20. He is putting me on a supplement just because of my history. He would rather me feel comfortable and not worry about my levels. He is also ordering bloodwork for me again. He wants to check how my progesterone levels are fluctuating. I really like my doctor. If anyone ever needs an OBGYN suggestion, I have one for you. He listens to my concerns and is very friendly. He also makes time to check up on me and I think that helps make him a great doctor.
Thursday, September 29 –
I went back to the doctor today to have my blood drawn once more. My hCG level went up to a 2,627. Thankfully the numbers keep increasing as they should. I won’t be back in again until my early ultrasound that is scheduled for October 20.
We met with Jay’s family this evening to tell them about the baby. They were all very excited.
Friday, September 30 –
I received a phone call from my doctor’s office at 8am. My doctor had a chance to look at my labs and decided since my levels were over a 1,500 hCG that they would do an ultrasound just to make sure their was a present sac. So I quickly called Jay who turned around from heading into work and then jumped in the shower.
The ultrasound did in fact show a healthy sac. A good pregnancy. Praise the Lord! Then my doctor changed my next ultrasound to make it right at 7 weeks. He wants to see a heartbeat sooner than later. Did I mention before that I love my Dr.? So my early ultlrasound is now scheduled for October 14.
Wednesday, October 5 –
My anxious thoughts are subsiding a little. I am starting to feel really sick. This is such a blessing. Though being sick isn’t fun, it let’s my brain rest assured that I have a healthy pregnancy happening. Praise the Lord!
Friday, October 14 –
Ultrasound day! A precious little heartbeat was seen and heard via the ultrasound. We are so blessed. The baby is measuring right on track. After the ultrasound I got in with my Doctor. We chatted a bit and then scheduled a 10 week appointment. We hope to hear a heartbeat through the doppler next time.
Wednesday, October 19 –
Though I love this beautiful gift the Lord has given us…I truly and utterly hate being pregnant. My doctor prescribed me Zofran a few weeks back to help with the nausea. It’s a medication they give to chemo patients to help subside their nausea. It is supposed to block the action of serotonin, a natural substance that can cause nausea and vomitting. Sadly, it isn’t working. I feel sick 24 hours a day and have vomitted a few times already. Usually when you have the stomach flu you feel better after vomitting but it doesn’t work that way for me. I hope I can get some relief soon because this miserable feeling is really wearing on me.
Tuesday, November 1 –
I’m starting to get really down about this sickness thing. It’s hard to function everyday. Chasing after a 6-year-old and mostly a 2-year-old when you feel like vomitting makes you feel like vomitting even more. I told Jay that I am officially throwing in the towel on having more kids. I don’t think I can do this again. I feel like life has been sucked out of me.
Tuesday, November 9 –
My family and I just went through a very stressful weekend. My Dad was in a car accident where he passed out while driving, veered off the road, hit a tree, a telephone pole, and another tree. He was air lifted to a hospital that specializes in traumas. I was at a friend’s wedding and ran out to make the three hour drive, praying the whole way that my Dad was going to make it through. Thankfully my Dad is doing good. He is pretty banged up, but he is going to be okay. Life really is a precious thing. From the first moments and into adulthood. Thank you, Lord, for keeping my Dad safe.
Thursday, November 17-
I had an OB visit today to listen for the heartbeat. We were able to hear that beautiful, fast beating while also hearing our little one move around in there. We are so blessed. I also found out I have a little hernia above my belly button. He said it may get worse as I continue to get bigger. Let’s hope that is not the case. And let’s also hope this sickness starts to subside as I hit 12-weeks tomorrow. I’m moving right along into my second trimester very soon!!
Sunday, November 20-
I’m ready to let everyone know I am pregnant. We’ve told close friends and our family and asked them all to pray. Now I am asking all of you to pray with me and my family for our new little bundle of joy that is due to arrive on June 1. We are excited to be adding to our family and that means a lot of adjusting. Adjusting physically – getting our home ready to accomodate another person – and adjusting mentally.
And now that I’ve moved through the first trimester, I’m hoping to kick this “all day sickness” really soon.
Belly pictures to come….